What Makes a Pilgrim
What Makes a Pilgrim
by Kerry Aguilar | Portland, OR
Lessons learned from St. Jean Pied de Port to Orisson:
- You don’t know what you don’t know.
- Be kind to your body.
- When someone offers to carry your backpack, let them.
The walk from St. Jean Pied de Port to Orisson is something one must experience, with each experience as diverse as the people who walk it.
Walking the Camino has been my dream for 30 years and as this dream was coming true, I found myself in a conversation that revolved around how I could go home. I started the Camino with a troubled body and mind. Combined with altitude (can’t train for no air), too many layers, and distorted expectations, I was finished before I had even started.
I traveled with three family members, and we all walked at our own pace. Mine was snail-like. I would pick out a tree or crack in the path ahead of me and will myself to that point.
Up that darn mountain I went, berating myself with negative talk that I wasn’t good enough, that I was a failure at this and most everything in life.
I have no recollection of where I was on this mountain—figuratively and literally—and needed to stop. I took off my pack to lie down when I caught sight of my brother. He had sprinted (he’s fast!) to Orisson and when I had not arrived, he came back to look for me. After a brief debate, he took my pack, and we walked the rest of the way to Orisson. This would not be the last time my brother looked for me.
After a relaxing coin-operated shower and pilgrim’s dinner, the fog began to clear. I determined that trying to meet preconceived expectations of what a “real pilgrim” looks like would only hamper my progress. I would need to accept help, which goes against my nature.
I was carrying more than a literal backpack up the Pyrénées, it was metaphorically filled with my life’s baggage. Does it make me weak or not a “real pilgrim” because I let my backpack go with complete strangers to be transported the following morning? Maybe, or maybe it was a lesson in being a pilgrim—one who offers aid and one who accepts.
