The First Move
The First Move
by D’Mari McCormick | San Antonio, TX
In 2018, I began my second Camino solo from Burgos with an intention created at the end of my first Camino in 2015: Make the “first move” to create connection with other pilgrims. I have always been good at making the “second move.” When someone reaches out to me, I can easily engage in conversation to create connections. “First moves,” however, are foreign for me, and the fear of rejection makes me deeply uncomfortable.
I walked my first Camino solo from St. Jean Pied de Port, making friends along the way as they reached out to me. On this second Camino, my intention was to be the one to reach out. I was exploring Castrojeriz when I saw two peregrinos sitting outside, drinking beers in the shade. As I passed, we nodded greetings to each other. As I walked on, I noticed the budding trees, often woven together overhead to create shade. I wondered what kind of trees they were.
I wondered if the other pilgrims knew, and I remembered my intention to make the first move. Feeling very awkward, I turned around and approached them to ask, “Do you know what kind of trees those are?” Fortunately, they spoke English, were friendly, and one of them actually knew that they were plane trees! They invited me to join them for a drink, and we spent the next couple of hours visiting, and exchanged Whats App numbers before we parted. I headed to my lodging, thinking about our fun time together, all because I was willing to make the “first move.”
I ended up traveling with these two Camino buddies to Santiago, and then met one of them in 2019 for the Camino del Norte from Irun. Pretty brave for both of us, considering we barely knew each other! We planned another Camino together, but Covid intervened. Although we stayed in touch by email and text, it was five years before we met again for a shared Camino Inglés in 2024.
None of this would likely have happened if I hadn’t been curious about a tree and willing to make the “first move” to ask a question of strangers. So, whether you are starting out on your first Camino or your tenth, stay curious and be willing to make the “first move” to create connection. You never know what your future might hold.
