Transcending Generations
Transcending Generations
by John Beichert | Blue Bell, PA
During my first Camino, I spent much of my time contemplating my relationship with my father. When I returned to the United States, I shared some of my insights with him. Unfortunately, I did not receive much in response. Many of our issues remained unresolved.
A few years later, as I sat at my dying father’s bedside, he confessed, “I never thought you would amount to much, but you turned out pretty good.” While his intention was to deliver a compliment, his words actually validated my childhood and adulthood disappointment. It stirred up memories of my angst in trying to prove my worth to him, sometimes at the expense of satisfying myself. At times, this unresolved conflict led me to doubt my own parenting skills.
After a few years in the workforce, my son decided to return to graduate school. The two of us had made plans to walk the Camino together before classes started. Never did we expect my father to pass away three days before our departure. What had been planned as an adventure focused on my son’s goals for graduate school now included heartfelt conversations concerning the nature of father-son relationships.
As we made our way toward Santiago together, my son assured me that he was very proud of me and my accomplishments. He provided the validation I had never received from my own father. He assured me that he viewed me as a role model. While he had not always agreed with my parenting decisions, he now respected them. He had come to realize that they were always made with his best interest at heart.
As we arrived in the Praza Obradoiro, our relationship had ripened into a mature and earnest one, founded on respect and affection. We now knew deep in our hearts that we could always depend on each other, no matter the circumstances.
The revelations of that Camino still provide guidance in my life. I have come to recognize that I am very blessed. I have leaned into the pride I feel for the family I have created, despite my own childhood disappointments. My son now has a son, and I couldn’t be more proud of the father, husband, and man he is. With the help of the Camino spirit, perhaps all three of us will one day experience the joy of pilgrimage together.
