Empowered by Patches
Empowered by Patches
by Jen Manglos | Seattle, WA
I’ve spent countless hours considering what to put in my backpack before heading out on my first Camino. Sleeping bag vs. liner? Two or three pairs of socks? Laundry sheets or a Bronner bar? But there’s another item that keeps sneaking into my bag: fear. With that fear comes a belief that I won’t be able to finish the walk.
I don’t just have fear though. I also have a community of family and friends who believe that I can finish this Camino, who don’t hold the same fear that I do. As I prepare, I wonder how I can visually remind myself of this truth as I walk.
Notes? Trinkets? Photos? Of course, the goal is to lighten my load, not add to it. The question quickly becomes, what can I bring that won’t significantly add to the weight of my pack? The solution flashes before me suddenly. I have seen photos of folk’s packs with different patches from their home countries, local organizations, or words of empowerment. I reach out to my community and ask for them to give me a patch for my backpack Tina Fey.
Yes, my pack is named Tina Fey. Before 30 Rock, before Mean Girls, and before Weekend Update, Fey was the first female head writer on Saturday Night Live. Her story remained with me, almost prophetically, as I would later try again and again to enter into spaces where female leaders were rare.
My friends and family take my request seriously and soon I have a pack covered in patches that are fun, encouraging, and weird—just like me! Before I know it, I’m walking the Camino. My bag is a conversation starter, and I love sharing with others about Tina Fey and what she represents.
While walking to Foncebadon it hits me: I am going to finish the Camino. My body responds with joy— dancing and crying at the realization. This belief that I could finish has finally become my own. I do finish, and as I walk into the plaza on this quiet and rainy October morning, the town yet to wake up, I fall on my knees in gratitude.
I may have packed my fears on this Camino, but I also added hope, determination, and belief. Even if I had to borrow it from others until I was ready to claim it as my own.
