A Lesson in Compassion for Self & Others
A Lesson in Compassion for Self & Others
by Joan Effertz | Cincinnati, OH
“JESUS DIDN’T START IN SARRIA.” I spotted this statement painted on a waymarker along the Camino Francés near Lorca, just east of Estella. If you’re vague on geography, Lorca is approximately 350 miles east of Sarria.
Given that the Camino de Santiago wasn’t established as a pilgrim route until several centuries after Jesus Christ’s time, I took a leap and speculated that the author perhaps meant that Jesus’s journey in life was physically long, and that if you start your Camino in Sarria rather than St. Jean Pied de Port, you are cheating or short-shrifting your Camino.
What else was implied, and how did it apply to me? Maybe they meant that Jesus walked, took little with him, had no ego, and didn’t use a donkey. What if I swapped “Jesus” for “Spirit”? Did I have to suffer? What if I used pack transport or caught a ride? What part did my ego play? What about carrying a heavy backpack? Did I really need two sets of clothing, a sleeping bag, a toothbrush? What made the Camino—my Camino—a spiritual journey?
Nine years and five pilgrimages ago, the rules seemed clear and straightforward: strap on your backpack and walk, never take transportation. Now, mile-by-mile, I came to understand that conditions had changed. I’d had a hip replacement, and no matter how determined or stubborn I was, if I wanted to keep walking I would have to accept my reality and compromise.
By the time my husband and I walked into Jaca, Spain, on the Camino Aragonés, for example, I no longer wanted to carry the weight or walk more than 10 miles. We began using pack transport and limiting our distance. Sometimes we took a bus or taxi. But I still felt conflicted.
So later when I encountered that graffiti message along the Camino Francés, the pump was primed. Questions, doubt, and guilt spilled from me.
It took me another 195 miles to start to pay attention to my own authentic self, live in the present, and recognize what fed my spirit. I learned to give myself a break, drop the ego, enjoy what I have, and see Spirit in all its manifestations. My heart opened while walking in the Spanish countryside. I realized that I felt freedom, serenity, peace, and exuberance that had no equivalent. The landscape vibrated with waves of energy. I breathed deeply, and everything left me but that state of joy.
I haven’t mastered my ego, guilt, and doubt. Nor have I been able to feel this sense of freedom daily. But I am better able to see the spiritual. And I am coming to accept what is with self compassion and an open mind and heart. If I can do this for myself, I can do it for others too.
