Journeying Through Grief to Gratitude

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st jean bridge Dan Hamstra summer 2025 la concha
Pont d’Eyheraberry in St. Jean Pied de Port, France. Photo by Dan Hamstra.

Journeying Through Grief to Gratitude

by Dan Hamstra | Flower Mound, TX

After I was widowed in 2022 at age 60, my son suggested taking a spiritual retreat to Italy in 2023. I agreed and thought that as long as I would be across the pond, I should check out this Camino thing. I set aside two weeks before our Italy trip to explore the Camino, starting at St. Jean Pied de Port, France. That year, I only went to Burgos, Spain, but I was changed. In 2024, I started again at St. Jean Pied de Port, arriving in Santiago de Compostela 33 days later. In 2025, I biked from Burgos to Santiago.  

Losing a spouse tops most grief lists, along with loss of a child, parent, or sibling. I knew I needed a reset, a rebirth, a recharge after four years of caregiving, but I wasn’t sure how. So to prepare for my Camino, I dedicated each day to a person or group that was a blessing to me from God. 

  • Days 1-3: One day for each of my kids, spent thinking, praying, laughing, remembering, and admiring each for who they are and how they’ve blessed me.
  • Days 4 & 5: My son-in-law and daughter-in-law.
  • Day 6: Grandkids.
  • Day 7: My parents and wife’s parents.
  • Day 8: Siblings. 
  • Day 9: Church friends.
  • Day 10: Work friends.

Each night, I texted the respective loved one(s) that the next day would be dedicated to them. Throughout each day’s walk, I took notes on my phone, and at the end of the day, I journaled my thoughts. After returning to the States, I read each kid my journal entry about the blessing they have been to me.  

In C.S. Lewis’s A Grief Observed, written after losing his wife to cancer, he described how grief eventually turned to gratitude for what they’d had. Somewhere along the Camino and my daily thanks to God for the incredible blessings I have received, my grief turned to gratitude. The process of grieving takes time and can’t be rushed, but the hours, days, weeks set aside on the Camino to work through grief was exactly what I needed.  

There are more Camino journeys ahead for me. I am keenly aware that health is a blessing, and without health all else seems irrelevant. There are no guarantees in this life. For me, the Camino experience is a small glimpse into what God intended for mankind—strong faith, compassion, empathy, support, and acceptance.

journeying grief gratitude Dan Hamstra bridge summer 2025 la concha
The eponymous bridge in Puente La Reina, Spain. Photo by Dan Hamstra.
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