Worth Every Misery to Persevere
Worth Every Misery to Persevere
by Colleen Monahan | Orange, CA
Upon completing my first Camino Francés alone from St. Jean Pied de Port, France, in 2019 at the age of 68, I committed to walking it every two years for as long as possible.
This plan was interrupted by the COVID-19 pandemic and two years later, my husband’s illness and death. This year was the year! Although I planned to walk alone, a very dear friend decided to walk with me. So, we set off on our adventure.
What a disappointment from the very beginning: flight delays, poor training and preparation by my companion, two hail storms, almost daily rain, a multi-country power outage, and the death of a pope. Since this was a spiritual and religious pilgrimage for me, receiving the Camino blessing at the Pilgrim Mass in Roncesvalles, Spain, was important to me. I anticipated crossing the Pyrénées in 7 hours via the Valcarlos Route, as I had done previously, but this time it took 12 hours, missing the Mass and blessing entirely. Navigating the rough and rocky descent into Zubiri referred to as the Dragon’s Teeth the next day was excruciatingly painful on my overworked, neuropathy-afflicted feet. Further on, during a visit to the cathedral in León, Spain, I lost my pilgrim credential. I was gutted.
After waiting six years to walk the Camino again, this trip was such a trial and not what I thought I needed to restart my life as a widow.
Then, about four weeks into the Camino, I had a dream. In it, I walked the Francés alone, and everything was perfect: the weather, other pilgrims, accommodations, food, my health and fitness. I even walked through the cathedral tunnel as the piper played “Garryowen”. But upon reaching the center of the Praza do Obradoiro and facing the cathedral, instead of feeling exhilaration, I felt empty. I realized that I had not achieved anything. I had not learned anything. I had not overcome any adversity on this seemingly perfect, dream Camino.
Among conscious pilgrims once again, I continued walking, and although the stages from Sarria to Santiago were particularly crowded with some of the rudest pilgrims I had ever seen, I met a great family from my alma mater, and reunited with other pilgrims that I had met earlier. Once I entered the Praza, I was enveloped in a feeling of accomplishment and relief and gratitude.
Lesson learned: It was worth every misery to persevere.
